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Fri, Jul. 19th, 2013, 09:40 am

Say, would anyone here be perhaps interested in adding some illustrations to this piece

Who The Fuck Stole Culture

‘Tis the standard belief to the progressive mind
That no generation should ever fall behind
Thus as mankind evolves from a past generation
The next era should feature its own innovations
But unfortunately, to my greatest dismay
There are periods for which I dare not to say
Were particularly if at all for mankind
Necessary in reflecting those days behind

In the not so forgotten of ages to pass
There did live a great lineage of fads doomed to last
Such a chapter in the late twentieth century
One that could have been so revolutionary
But instead it was a time in which agencies
Felt that time had come to preach complacency
In an era so meager of its innovations
That the decade I speak of defined a “creation”
As something fabricated from recycled thoughts
Made basically the same as long as they had got
Something generated from electronic toys
With computers graphics or some synthesized noise
And while these gadgets nurtured our ears and our eyes
The toys and fashions never failed to surprise
And as Reaganomics for eight years reigned supreme
This now nostalgic generation it would seem
To have dwindled through ages and to some passed days
A splendor to some while to others’ dismays

In the musical realm of this nostalgic age
A dancer to synhthpop could be called a sage
He could be a pervert with artificial skin
But each move and each sound allowed himself to win
Evidently bottomless residual wages
And immortal status in pop-culture’s pages
And meanwhile in this same period came to be
A famed “Artist” whose name suggested royalty
Whose Oscar, golden globe, and seven Grammy’s were
Earned from 9 albums this age and his 7 tours
Then a dancer from Bay City, Michigan came
Whose sex-life we knew more of than her own last name
And though we know she’d not been “touched for the first time”
To number 1 in charts would her many hits climb
From New Jersey, a great gospel talent emerged
For when she sang of all her “love for you” she surged
To the scene as an all-time cherished voice unfurled
For audiences to love in all of the world

Now I know what you’re thinking for at least you must
Wonder at this point why I call this time a bust
Well you see, just because some components were fine,
That does not mean that it was a time to define
Consider “Escape Club” to see what I mean
Whose two motives combined to make up one theme
That dominated throughout all of their songs
‘Cause their lyrics sure couldn’t for three minutes long
Excessive patriotism didn’t come tough
For Bruce Springsteen to think that ONE theme was enough
As long as its volume was excessive in size
And its synthesized sounds bytes worked to compromise
Or when Survivor satisfied Rocky fans’ senses
With one note in the bass line and but two cadences

In the realm of this era’s music beyond pop
I dare not to declare this decade was to stop
All decency and reason to musical art
Rather tear each hot genre steadily apart
Like Metallica bringing the decade a new
With head banging drug culture teens could relate to
Although they relied on influences brought in
By other crucial figures like Iron Maiden
With boundaries crossed past the many conventions
From the long-since traditional 4/4 inventions
And though 4/4 remained the beat regularly
The patterns could alternate rather frequently
Thus the apparent chaos much felt metal was
Gained a wide range of audience’s perhaps ‘cause
The apparent chaos these musicians displayed
Served to illustrate the messages these song said
Which was to these songs’ benefits generally
‘Cause lyrics sure seemed worthless to those like Ozzy
Then the word “underground” always could justify
Lazy heavy metal for consumers to buy
Claiming they were lost souls so devout to their art
That they had to sell out so they could be a part
Of the “rebel” tradition of grunting and curses
To clean out their consumers’ wallets and their purses
Thus the groups didn’t care how much bad or much good
Did society gain when the “Business is good”
Referred to “Killing” as their business of choice
When Combat Records spent 8 grand to hear this noise
Then hedons such as Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee
Knew that breaking the law was bound to guarantee
Recurring residuals from the teen hypocrites
So record companies could prey on this bullshit

In the film industry of these peculiar days
Funds went to the nirvana of lazy screenplays
Brought from checks signed by conservative producers
Fed up with innovative financial losers
Thus explosions and sequels were where money went
And on moderate gambles the rest would be spent
But if ever a novel idea did come
The industries jumped out to reap every sum
With more sequels or rip-offs everyone could tell
And when nothing else worked, films knew bare tits would sell

Take such a novel conflict as teenage frustration
A screenplay idea studios did not ration
What with all the innovations in “Ridgemont High”
‘Twas inevitable pop-culture milk it dry
Like the fallback conservative lowest of lows
Turn this coming-of-age gem into a TV show
And before the teenagers were too old to use
There were bottomless screenplays to throw at John Hughes
Whose mild comedic yet dramatic zeal
Worked to give this genre quite standard appeal
And this evolved to get rather complicated
In the best of ways when there came “Karate Kid”
This wonderful look at the 7-year strife
To so agonize through a teenager’s life
But what goes up must come down though all execs cringe
Thus before such times came, industries had to binge
On relentless merchandise to throw until you
Bought your ticket and cursed at “Karate Kid 2”
And naïve fans who thought one sequel was enough
Supported its cartoon show, comic books, and stuff
In fact they were even dumb enough to go see
The abominable “Karate Kid 3”

Now the technical realm of the film industry
Wasn’t bad! In fact it was quite good actually
With computers just starting to take the big screen
Rather novel visuals could illustrate scenes
With puppeteers and hand made designers on call
‘Twas not ‘til the next decade computers ruled all
Like the Lucas or Henson- inspired designs
In the earlier films that were all intertwined
With well-written stories that needed not rely
But instead they were merely complemented by
These creative designs and well-thought out efforts
For a wonderful blend of great quality works
But each “Star Wars”, “Indiana Jones”, or “E.T”
Allowed “Labyrinth” or “Dark Crystal” to come to be
Or hilariously bad Schwarzenegger flicks
Like “Conan” or “Command0” to throw in the mix
Thus the action genre reached a dominant high
When bad-ass one-liners and sick deaths reached the sky
For the limit of how violent one could be
To still remain shocking for viewers to see
Like when audiences would find it rather tough
To top “Alien” grossness way far from enough
The genre first started to look sick in “First Blood”
Though Stallone kept his shirt off to “pose” as a stud
And though “Predator” may have been worse than “Freddy”
Producers kept making flicks more and more bloody

But rated-R shock value did not just need gore
For defining this era needed a bit more
As studios said, “ ‘Animal House’, thank you so
For sharing your wisdom for us all to know
That cinema doesn’t need well-written scripts
But junk-induced actors and SHIT LOADS OF TITS”
“Revenge of the Nerds” bring this film to the screen
Show those tits and pussies teenage boys haven’t seen
‘Police Academy’ wasn’t funny; no care
It still featured women who were totally bare
Let this tradition stay for a new generation
So new fans can pay up from every nation

If any omen could come for hearts to contend
‘Twas the promise of this decade one day to end
For the future prospects of life always leave fear
To who dread life whenever it can look too unclear
And for those who dreaded the time of which I speak
Their greatest Christmas gift was knowing one more week
Did remain in this era some dare not bring back
But hope the new days re-grow